I'll be okay
by I-am-not-a-doll
Summary: Clarke doesn't get scared often. In 4th grade when she got to pet a python? Not scared. 10th grade she yelled at the class bitch. College first year? She punched the guy trying to mug her. She doesn't get scared. Rated T For panic attacks How I think any relationship would have to be between them. Short but good. I dont think Clarkes weeks, but I want her to vent, let her.


Clarke doesn't get scared often. In 4th grade when she got to pet a python? Not scared. 10th grade she yelled at the class bitch. College first year? She punched the guy trying to mug her. She doesn't get scared.

A heavy drizzle of rain could be heard outside. "Shit." Clarke whispered to herself. She was heading out to a bar tonight with everyone, and thats the last thing you want on a night like this is rain.

Clarke sighed, pretending not to care as she went to go grab her umbrella. When almost like coincidence, when her fingers touch the end, a loud booming shot through her small one person apartment.

Instantly, Clarke pulled out her phone, trotting suddenly other room.

Group chat: Monty, Raven, Miller, Octavia, Jasper, Bellamy, Clarke,

Clarke: Hey guys, know it's last minute but I can't come, I must have ate something bad, now my heads over the toilet

Raven: Damn Clarke, that sucks, you okay?

Jasper: Mom youre not supposed to be sick! Dad will be alone! Who's gonna take care of us?

Clarke would have laughed at that if it wasn't for the bright light of thunder, making its way through the curtains. She closed her phone briefly, letting herself breath. At this point she was already in bed.

She opened her phone again, looking at the accumulated mass of messages.

She scrolled to the bottom.

Miller: Feel better

Raven: let us know if you need anything

Octavia: Clarke feel better :(

Monty: Try some green tea, it might help settle youre stomach, feel better

Jasper: Monty and his plants xD

Octavia: Bellamy left before you messaged, he's probably already half way to your place, just kick him out when he gets there, that or make him your slave, get well, love you 3

Clarke knew Bellamy was coming to pick her up. She really didn't want to see anyone right now though. She shut off her phone. Another shiver going down her spine as thunder rolled through the room. Clarke got changed into something comfy quickly, before more lightning rolled in. Shivering as the weather got worse, and the light got brighter. With her fluffy sweater and basketball shorts, she crawled under the covers of her bed. Making sure not even her head showed.

Clarke doesn't get scared often. In 4th grade when she got to pet a python? Not scared. 10th grade when she yelled at the class bitch? Not scared. College first year? She punched the guy trying to mug her. She doesn't get scared.

And right now? She's not scared, no.

Lightning cracks again.

No she's not scared. This is unrelenting panic.

Clarke doesn't know why thunder and lightning scare her so much. She doesn't. But everytime there is a storm like this, she experiences what only she can call a panic attack.

Clarkes pretty sure it is anyway. She feels it in her chest and head, both getting tight. The "in your own world sensation" the wish to cry, scream, and do nothing, all at once. Clarke had stopped trying to do things durring thunderstorms as soon s she hit high school.

"Fuck" Clarke whispered to herself, trying to calm her breathing.

"Fuck it, fuck this, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. She said quickly.

Another wave of lightning had Clarke rolling on her bed. Gripping the blankets. She couldn't describe how she felt. Just panic and fear. She sensation of not saving herself.

"Clarke?" A deeper, slightly raspy voice said. Shock course through her body as she forced herself to breath. "The door was unlocked.." a moment passed.

"Bellamy?" She wanted it to sound better, but the name came off choked and broken. He took a precautious step forward at the sound of her tattered voice. "Hey you okay?" He said gentle, waiting a moment. "I read the conversation, you doing alright?" He asked again as Clarke had failed to respond the first time. She ignored him again. Not on purpose really, but just choosing to stay in the safety of the covers.

Bellamy and Clarke got along fairly well. He had seen her at her best, graduating college, her happiest, landing her dream job, her saddest, when her father passed away, and when she was most sick, road trip last year, food poisoning. He held her hair. Or when she got drunk...multiple times. Held her hair again. They may only have known each other for just over a year now, but she knew Bellamy knew Clarke was not physically sick.

"Princess?" Bellamy said walking towards her. She heared his footsteps, equal and smooth. It would have relaxed her if thunder hadn't sounded again, and she found herself wanting to roll over, and shake her blankets, but instead opting out withsome stressed, raspy breathing.

The breathing must have made Bellamy even more nervous about her. because now he was at the side of her bed, gently rubbing her shoulder, outlined by the blanket.

More sounds erupted in the room and now Clarke was on her stomach. Her hands lightly tugging at her hair, face now visible.

"I'm sorry" Clarke whispered. Turned on her side, but still laying down to face him.

"Hey princess, nothings wrong, why are you upset?" He asked, not to pry but to help.

Bellamy rarely was, but he could be gentle.

Bellamy lifted the blanket to cover their heads, making a tent for the kneeling Bellamy, and the panic Clarke. "I can't do much if you dont say anything." He says.

Clarke lets out a shaky breath but choses to say anything again. He waits a bit debating. But when he sees her shake again he doesn't hesitate.

"Skooch" Bellamy says, fitting onto the bed with her. A light arm wrapped around her mid section.

Clarke still panics when the noises and lights happen, but it's nice to think someones there. Perhaps they'll care more than they'll judge.

She lets her head rest towards Bellamys chest. Choosing to stay facing towards him rather than away.

About 10 minutes into whatever sort of comfort this is, Bellamy must figure out that it is the weather, because he soon puts his headphones in her ears, turns the volume up, and just lets her close her eyes.

Feather light strokes on her head lull her to sleep, as she continues to whisper what she always does. "I'll be okay."


End file.
